Solution: It's time to try sauerkraut, dummkopf!
So I've turned this:
The process is simply to shred cabbage, add salt, and pack into a sterile jar.
Now it's a four day wait to let the fermentation process get under way and see what we have got.
In the meantime, just to keep my feet on the ground, I baked a sourdough loaf today. It won't last four days.